


You did this.

by Igetstuckonshowsforagoodminute



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: F/M, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-11-28 15:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20969192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igetstuckonshowsforagoodminute/pseuds/Igetstuckonshowsforagoodminute
Summary: He was done with everything. Lying, Annalise, Life. one thing was for sure, Connor Walsh had enough.





	1. Chapter !

Ever since that night, that terrible night, all Connor could think about was how much of a monster he is. The others are acting as if nothing had happened, that they didn't murder a man and burn his body.  
He didn’t know how they could walk into the house without seeing the murder happen all over again. He didn’t know how they could live with themselves because he knew he couldn’t.

After Oliver broke up with him he didn’t have anything to hung onto, nothing to pull him out of his self-hatred or his reckless thoughts.   
He was all alone.  
He couldn’t take it anymore, all the lies and murders.

“Hey dude, you ok” he looked up and Wes was watching him with concern in his eyes

“I’m fine” he said quickly and looked back at his file.

Annalise and Bonnie walked in a few minutes later

“What did you find” Annalise said as she looked at Connor

“um well I eh, I found a parking ticket” he didn’t have anything and he knew this was going to make Annalise pissed.  
She walked over to him with a furious look, he stood up and gulped ‘oh shit’

“Are you staying you’ve done nothing in these two hours” she looked at him for answer that he really didn’t t want to reply, the others felt bad for him even Frank who mysteriously came out of nowhere.

“No” he said in a small tone, Annalise looked angry and Connor suddenly feared the woman he once knew as a mentor.  
She leans in close to his ear so only he could hear

“Didn’t I tell you Mister Walsh, that you can’t screw up or your car will make it to the police”  
he didn’t expect this, she was using the same threat she used a week ago. 

He was frozen in place, he only moved when she told everyone to get back to work. He was looked at with sad faces the rest of the day.

When he got home to his empty apartment he went straight for the bottle of Vodka on the counter and started drinking straight from it. 

Somewhere in that time he started crying and laughing none stop. He hated himself, he hated Annalise, everyone. He just wanted everything to end. He got up the courage and walked to the bathroom Vodka bottle still in hand. He looked through the cabinet and found what he was looking for,  
Sleeping pills.

He stared at the pill bottle for a few moments of thinking through options, until he agreed this was the only way.   
Before he downed the whole bottle he looked at his phone, he grabbed it and dialed Annalise’s number.

It rung a couple of times and he just thought she wouldn’t answer when the line clicked

“Mister Walsh, what do you want” came his professors voice stern like always with a hint of anger. He finally let go 

“This is all your fault”   
“None of this would have ever happened if you’d just stayed away” he could hear a hitched breath on the other side of the line

“Connor, what’s wrong?” her voice softened a little but he didn’t care 

“You did this, everything, you ruined everything.” he was now fully crying 

“This is your fault!” he screamed into the phone with all his energy

“Connor I need you to tell me what’s wrong” he could her Bonnie in the background asking what was wrong and Frank shushing her

“What’s wrong? WHATS WRONG” he’s now laughing, fully laughing

“I just can’t do it anymore” he said in a small voice that she almost didn’t hear, but what she did hear scared her.

“Connor” she said in a no play tone 

“Don’t do what I think your implying” she was trying to reason with him but all that was in his mind right now was ending it all.

He let out a couple shaky breathes and sobs 

“Fuck you” with that he disconnected the call and grabbed the bottle.

He took a few breaths before opening the bottle and tapped a couple tablets into his palm, then he started swallowing them five at a time taking swigs of Vodka between each batch.

He could hear his phone ringing in the distance but he didn’t care he just continued swallowing the pills till there were no more.

He started to feel tired, his eye lids started to droop and he didn’t stop them. He smiled as full darkness took him over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annalise POV

She was in the middle of talking through the case with Bonnie when her phone lit up, she looked at the name and sighed.

When she answered she could hear harsh breathing

“Mister Walsh, what do you want” she didn’t mean to sound so angry

“This is all your fault” “none of this would have happened if you’d just stayed away!”.

“Connor, what’s wrong?” she asked in a soft voice trying to calm the young man down, this also got Bonnie’s attention.

“you did this, everything, you ruined everything” she could tell he was crying, she thought maybe he was drunk but she knew better  
He kept repeating this was her fault she didn’t know what this was, but she could guess.

“Connor I need you to tell me what’s wrong.” 

Bonnie now held the concerned look she had   
“What’s wrong”

Frank appeared and hushed Bonnie so Annalise could listen to Connor.

Connor suddenly got mad and started screaming then he went quiet, all she could hear were silent sobs 

“I just can’t do it anymore” he said it so softly she almost missed it.

Her chest filled with an uneasy feeling

“Connor” she could hear his hitched breathing on the other side

“Don’t do what I think your implying” nothing came after that, the line was only filled with sobs and shaky breaths 

“fuck you” 

With that the line went dead. 

She dialed his number again but no answer, 

“send me his address” she says as she grabs her keys and run towards the door leaving a confused Bonnie and Frank.  
#####################################################################################

When she made it to the apartment she took out the key she got from the desk clerk, she was going to warn him about that later.

When she enters she doesn’t see him so she looks around, the third place she checks is the bathroom.

When her eyes caught sight of a deadly pale Connor holding a pill bottle she takes out her phone and immediately dials 911.

The dial tone only lasts a second and she’s already right beside him

“911 what is your emergency” came a female voice from her phone

“This is Annalise Keating at 1534 willows St. apartment 106. My Student took a whole bottle of sleeping pills” she says as she eyes the label of the bottle.

She’s shaking his shoulder to try and wake up but no response,

“Ok ma’am, are they breathing?” she learns in close to his mouth and waits for the warm breath but doesn’t feel anything

“No, no he’s not” she’s now scared, scared that this is truly her fault and she’s made one of her promising students commit suicide.

“Ok Ma’am, I need you to preform CPR on him until the ambulance gets there”

Annalise takes a shaky breath and then lays Connor on his back. He looks so much younger and peaceful without all the stress and pressure on him

“OK ma’am I need you to preform 30 chest compressions then two rescue breaths then repeat.”

The 911 operators voice becomes distant as Annalise tries to save her student

“Common Connor breathe” she bends down and opens his mouth and blows two strong breaths into him and still nothing.

“Damnit Connor BREATHE” she now on the verge of crying but refuses to do so.

She can hear sirens outside the building and hope fills her chest, so she keeps pressing his chest heavily screaming his name to somehow get through to him.

“Connor please don’t do this to me” she can feel wet streaking down her face but she doesn’t care she keeps going. 

Suddenly he takes a breath

“that’s good, very good Connor” she can hear the 911 operator telling her the paramedics are heading up to them.

She looks up and see’s dark watery eyes staring at her

“I’ll be ok” she says as she rubs his chest in a comforting way.

Not long after the door opens and she gets moved away from him as paramedics start hooking machines to him and then carrying him out to the ambulance.

She then felt a hand on her shoulder, she looks up and see’s Bonnie with sorrow filled eyes

“You didn’t do this” even though she knew Connor makes his own decisions part of her knew she was part to blame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospital with Connor

All he remembered was feeling pressure on his chest going up and down repeatedly. He opened his eyes slightly and saw his Law professor with tears in her eyes yelling at him, then all of a sudden he remembered what he had done.

How could he have been so stupid, he called her instead of just doing it.

Suddenly multiple people came in rushing to his side pushing Annalise away, for some reason he didn’t want her to leave. He could hear them asking his questions but he didn’t say a word, one of them turned to Annalise and asked him something but before she answered his world once again went blank.  
#####################################################################################   
He could feel things attached to his hand but didn’t know what, he could also feel something on his face. He opened his eyes and went into a panic, he could hear a machine’s beeping increasing but didn’t think much of it.

He tried to lift his hands up to remove what he assumed was a mask but found he couldn’t, he looked down and saw padded restraints around his wrists.

He tugged at them but they wouldn’t budge, then out of nowhere a woman that looked in her 40’s ran in.

“Oh sweetie, you’re OK” she said in a calming motherly voice that made him stop struggling. The Lady then pushed him back down to the bed and took off the mask,

“there you go sweetie, you just have to ask” she gave him a smile and fixed his sheets. He stared at her while she straightened out the sheets, he then realized the one question that was still unanswered 

“what happened?” the lady lost her smile and held a face of sadness

“you don’t remember?” she asked in a soft tone that he just wanted to fall into, he also didn’t want to sound dumb so he thought and he thought hard.

Then it hit him, he really did it, or he tried and failed that was the logical option since he’s still alive

“I eh did it I think” the lady’s face fell even more than it already did

“I think I called my professor” he added as he remembered the events that led him there.

“when” he started but paused as he looked down at his restraints

“can I get out of here” he knew the answer before he finished his sentence 

“Sorry sweetie not for a while” the lady that he now knew was a nurse said as she regained her soft smile.

The nurse left and he was alone like always, so he closed his eyes and turned away from the gawkers looking at him at the nurse’s station.   
He wondered if Oliver knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry It's really short. ENJOY

**Author's Note:**

> I will have the next chapter out soon.


End file.
